A world of probabilities

Life is based on probabilities, on variable change.  This is illustrated by the Monty Hall theory, which requires us to imagine a show host with a contestant asked to pick one of three different doors. Behind one of the doors, a brand new car is found whereas the other two have goats behind them.  When the contestant chooses door 2, the show host reveals that behind door 1 is a goat. S (he) then asks the contestant if he wants to stick with door 2 or change his choice. Although generally people may think that the chances of having the car behind doors 2 and 3 are 50/50, science proved this notion wrong as the chance of winning the car is greater when changing to door 3 and this is what variable change is all about.

The above theory is applicable in maths, the big question is: could it also be applicable in life? The answer depends on individual perception, so there’s a 50% chance that it is pertinent and 50% chance that it’s not.

Have you ever asked yourself the following questions, because I personally have, many times indeed?

Why does it seem that when we least expect it, life sets the change we’ve always dreamt of having? Why is it that when we want something badly, the world tends to connive so as to thwart us from getting it? Why is life, most of the time, cruel and annihilates our ambitions and vanquishes our dreams and visions of tomorrow by the present and what today holds? All these questions are unanswerable.

A simple illustration of what I face almost everyday is this: Last week, I wanted to go to the gym and while getting ready, I was looking for a particular training suit which I hadn’t worn in a long time. I had planned to wear it particularly but as I looked almost everywhere for it, I couldn’t find it so I had to wear another one instead. Yesterday, while arranging my closet, the training suit was completely out of my mind but surprisingly, it was the first thing my eyes encountered. I astoundingly gazed at it and started thinking whether it is possible that when you actually give up on something, it works the exact way you want it to.

Another incident which is extracted from a friend’s experience taught me that we should always expect the unexpected. That friend had always been against arranged marriages. In fact, she had been in several relationships which came to naught. One day, her mother told her that people were visiting them in the evening to see her because she was, according to them, a potential wife for their son. The girl rejected the idea with rage and disgust but her aunt convinced her to just sit with them and be nice and reminded her that she could always say no when they pop the question.  To her surprise, when she sat with his family, she felt very comfortable and decided to give herself a chance so she went out with their son and realized that out of all the relationships she had been in, this was the most successful. She was deeply in love and finally tied the matrimony knot.  When asked now, she strongly supports arranged marriages and says that ‘an arranged marriage’ was the reason for her current happiness.

The above incidents and many other similar ones compel me to ask myself over and over again: Is it possible that when you care and worry less, untoward results become less likely? Is it possible that when we stop worrying at all, life takes a detour and brings us the joy and comfort we didn’t expect we’d get while distressing? As I mentioned earlier, life may be based on variable change, which signifies that in order to gain the best results, it is always better to follow the change and do the unexpected, so maybe it’s time to stop worrying and instead of complaining and saying that we are not ready when life brings with it the change we don’t expect, we should accept it and seize the opportunity to do things differently because such a moment may bring about challenge by which our destinies will be transformed.

Fast Forward

Just like it is with the film industry, every movie has a beginning, a middle and an end. Most of the times, the beginning is used to introduce the main characters and their goals while the middle's purpose is to have a series of events that increase the tension in the story. This is also where the characters change and grow as they deal with their conflicts.

In the end, the main conflict is resolved and the loose ends are tied up. What I've come to learn is that relationships in real life do not differ from those in movies... Every story begins on a specific date, with two main characters who start the story off as people who feel comfortable talking to each other, they click from either day or night one, and that click develops throughout into something stronger, something deeper, and just like every story in life, the middle part is reached, and that's where pain is felt, not the happiest part sadly. Nonetheless, it helps at least one of the main characters learn that life is too short to waste, in addition to many different things that mature him/her, but it would be no fun to state or read about those changes, because the things that change in the character(s) vary and fluctuate from one story to another, which is why, whether in real life or in a movie,  seeing them with time will be more convincing than reading about them, as seeing makes it more persuasive for people to believe, and even better, more sincere...

Every story has a different timing, particularly between its different parts. If the middle part ends faster in one than it does in another, that does not mean that it lacks honesty. On the contrary, it means that the characters' feelings are so true that they've speeded that part of the story, because fast forwards are at times great healers, they make the movies reach their end, where problems are resolved and new happy beginnings are on the rise. For this reason, bitter experiences should not be dealt with resent, but rather with cautiousness and patience, so long as we do not prolong the period of dealing with those occurrences, because who knows, those trials may end up being nothing but bliss sent to us in camouflage.

Hurt

Hurt; a feeling everyone tries to avoid….a feeling nobody wants to go through, not them nor their loved ones, yet, whether intentionally or not, we’ve all went through it, and without even realizing it ,caused those we love the most to experience it.

It seems that life teaches us lessons everyday…when we’re happy, small things pile up to cause big problems, ones that tear our hearts apart so as to remind us to be grateful of what we have and never take things for granted… but then again, those problems help us mature, help us understand others’ needs as well as our own, and when we recognize our true needs and desires, it leads us to change sooner, for we start understanding that life is too short to only dream about the future, actions should be taken, barriers should be overcome and we should appreciate and live the present for it is God’s daily gift to us.

Sometimes, we may think that we’re doing the right things but later find out that we’ve done nothing but failed….failing is a likely consequence of trying. In order to succeed, time and prolonged effort are needed as long as we believe that the change we’re seeking is necessary, for belief is the ignition of a new beginning, a happier life, an appreciation of the present and thus, a better future.

The art of listening

I got accustomed to listening to friends’ problems and talk about them to make them feel better, although some things I just feel that I don’t really want to hear, but I force myself to because deep down, I know how difficult it gets to remain silent. Whether the topics are about relationships, family problems, fights with friends, financial or job-related, I just listen and give my advice. I’m telling you, I just got so habituated that I actually feel I’m overshadowing Dr Phil.

It is corny how sometimes, you feel like you’re going to burst with tears and nobody around you realizes, even the close ones. They mistakenly assume that you’re clear of problems, maybe because you always listen and help, but what they don’t realize is that you’re a human, just like they are and that they never actually give you the chance to speak, or give themselves the chance to listen, and it kills because with time, you start feeling that nobody is actually interested in getting to know you better, your life means nothing to them because if it did, they would at least ask. So what do I do when I have problems of my own? I do what I always do, I listen, I become the person of my own, and the real friend I’ve never had.

How can one be a listener of oneself? I’ll tell you how: You just tuck the pain in, and it makes it more difficult for the bruises to heal as you’re left with nothing but hope; the hope that sometime not so long, the pain will vanish on its own. You know you cannot really outrun the pain and you’re certain that more are ahead of you, yet, you still do nothing other than take a deep breath and wish it subsides.

Despite the fact that my life seems to be running smoothly, with many friends to hang out with, a family that loves me and I share my love back to, a home filled with cosiness and warmth, and a good educational background which will probably provide me with a fine career, I still feel some emptiness, and that emptiness is purely the result of my friends’ lack of listening capabilities, or what I’d rather call ‘the art of listening’. Although I am grateful to have this gift which makes everyone around me feel comfortable, I also feel misfortuned not to have a single friend amongst the huge number in my social circle who shares the gift God has granted me because after all, I’m pretty sure that Dr. Phil would appreciate finding someone whom he can turn to for advice after spending a long day listening to others and worrying about their endless issues.

The story of a broken heart

This is a one of a kind story, a story which, unlike most, is narrated using only one paragraph consisting of eight lines and 129 words. Notwithstanding its undersize, it represents the reality of human nature, the fact that this nature grows within individuals. Human nature in itself does not change, but what changes are the everyday concerns which people become aware of while growing older. The story purely symbolizes a life-learnt lesson:

It’s funny how when we’re young, we learn to be cautious not to break a foot or a hand while playing. Although we try our very best not to trip and cause the pain to ourselves, we get pulled by the happiness and joy the moment brings with, which distracts us and blurs the cautiousness we had in mind. But as we grow older, we come to know that it’s neither the hand nor the foot that causes the pain when broken, but rather the heart, and so, we try our very best to protect our hearts from hurting, except that, just like we were during our childhood, drifted by the moment which overlooks the possibility of negative consequences, we expose our hearts to impairment without even realizing it.

Immortality

Just like any bus journey seen on streets, just like any novel being read, there comes a time when we discover that our beliefs are made up of sham hopes, that the journey won’t last, that the novel will, at some point, reach its last page, regardless of how attached we’ve become to all those things… and just like every activity we do, our life will soon come to an end as we all are bound to go meet our maker, to breathe our last breath and leave the closest people to our hearts weeping our absence until fate reunites us one day, in a different place, at a different time.

We ask ourselves over and over again, what are we in this world but a group of lifeless bodies lying under the soil?

For all those reasons, we should live in peace with ourselves, in order to live in peace with others, for how we will be remembered is what will constitute our biographies, our reviews, and our immortality.

Warmth

Just like the bare branches, when intertwined, we no longer focus on their emptiness, for our attention moves towards the beauty of the scene created by their bond, the bond that erases the coldness and fills the air with contentment and warmth.

Reflections

All through our journey, different people are met, each labeled with a distinctive individuality. When interaction takes place between us and them, we learn more about life, we become more sympathetic, more understanding, and more exposed…a part of them is somehow reflected upon us, and with every new person we meet, we are guided to the final sculpture of ourselves.

Hope

In ever path we walk through in life, hazards will be stumbled upon, roads will be wobbly and the worst nightmares will be envisioned…but hope remains….the one word that we take comfort in…. that keeps us strong and helps us step out and try, try to conquer all the peril and precariousness the road will bump us into…for we’ll still be hoping that at the end of the road, someday, sometime, a rainbow will emerge…

The path

Sooner or later, we’re going to have to walk down the path, and no matter how lost we feel, no matter how much it hurts trying our best not to look back, temptations must be fought, for in every step we stride forward, a part of our past will start to grow fainter, and our present will start taking a different shape, a different form…and what we once called ‘life’ becomes a mere past, and it remains our past until more and more is added to our present that our history becomes a vague memory made up of different reminiscences…

Wealth

‘Wealth’; a word that can be defined differently, depending on how we perceive things, from which perspective life is looked at.

To some people, a wealthy man is one who lives in a mansion, drives luxurious cars and wears the most expensive brands. To those people, materials overshadow certain characteristics like respect, honesty and purity.

Others define ‘wealth’ differently. To them, a person’s respect to others, regardless of their social class is what makes a man prosperous. No matter what clothes are worn, whether or not cars are owned, a person’s individuality is what labels prosperity, and where the majority of such people exist is what  I call a rich community, rich through simplicity, where sophistication lies within.

Egalitarianism

In a city of opportunities…where achievements are incredible and fortitude enduring, equality remains imperative and thus, success becomes more of a routine in people’s everyday lives, and pride is expressed differently; proud men do not look down on others, thieves are not rewarded for the crimes they have committed, and the less advantaged do not feel trivial.

No matter how big the city is, all men stand up still, with their heads high, under one single roof; the roof of egalitarianism and the place we once thought of as vast turns out to be nothing but cozy, and our expectations of getting lost in such a big place proves wrong, for we feel bigger than ever, bigger than the city itself, that’s where we actually feel the true meaning of humankind.

Loners

 “Loners”… that is what we were…a big group of friends, always, as one, embraced. The benches that witnessed our laughs, shared our jovial moments and gave us the space we needed during our gloomy days was where we all felt alone: alone yet together, alone against the world.

The day came when the benches we once sat on discerned our footsteps until they faded, and now they’re left forsaken, weeping our absence, yearning for our return.

Empty Cage

Just like a bird fighting to get out of its aviary, we dodge what we think of as emptiness to be set free and go to where we think is home. We lose patience, we pray for haste, but as time goes by, and we're bowed by the moments which our eyes behold throughout the years, those moments turn into scarce memories, and we realize that in the place we call home, there is neither happiness nor sadness, neither merriment nor weariness… nothing but emptiness, and we start longing for the old days…and the image of what we once called home is reshaped and home becomes no more than a vacant place, just like an empty cage.

Beggars

'Beggars' they're called and for their perception of life we beg.

How peaceful life becomes when simplicity is seen as opulent, and the sumptuous regarded dispensable. Our greediness they dearth, and their abstemiousness we seek….we all are beggars, pleading different things…

Greatness

Greatness is not a function of circumstance but rather a purpose of preference. Societies are capable of being great; they should aim for being great. A culture of knowledge and discipline can certainly initiate such attainment, that's why they call it Great Britain.

The stress of the new

We all pass through this phase in life; a child reacting hysterically while the mother lets go off his hands; excited about her son’s first day at school.  A bride clinging to her father’s arms as he expressively walks her down the aisle, a teenager on a plane, wondering if this new place she’s traveling to will be anything like home, if college is going to be fun, and if the so-called feeling of homesickness will last long.

Despite our fears, we subconsciously control our thoughts by bringing ease and consolation to ourselves. We decide to face the new and before the doors of change we stand still.